How To Forgive Yourself?

It's easier said than done to find peace within yourself. We've all done things that we regret doing or that we wish had a different result. Whatever the situation, learning to forgive yourself is essential to moving on. Maybe you spent half the month's food budget on a new coat or missed the first half of your son's soccer game.

To make matters even more challenging, it takes time to forgive someone, even oneself. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that it's acceptable to feel emotions like guilt or shame, advises Heather Hagen, M.S., L.M.F.T., Newport Healthcare's director of clinical program development. Take care of your physical and mental health because it might take some time to forgive yourself.

"Forgiveness is a tool that helps us confront the things we've done in the past, admit our errors, and move on. It does not imply that you approve of or justify what occurred. It doesn't imply that you forgot, according to Luskin. There is a time for our pain and sorrow. We must possess that. However, the season ends, and life goes on. And we must continue with it.

Here are some ways to find self-forgiveness—no matter the circumstances.

Know what you’re feeling

Explain the specific wrong you did and the harm it brought about, advises Luskin. "Tell a few close friends about what you did to get help, support, and guidance."

Sharing serves as a reminder that we all make mistakes. He claims that this only makes healing more challenging because "we frequently think we're alone and special in our suffering." Confessing your wrongdoing also keeps you from falling victim to forgetting, denial, suppression, or repression.

Focus on your emotions

Focusing on your emotions is one of the first steps in discovering how to forgive yourself. Before making progress, you must recognize and deal with your emotions. dependable source Give yourself permission to acknowledge, accept, and welcome the emotions that have been triggered in you.

Think of your mistakes as a learning experience

Consider every error as a teaching opportunity

Englander advises considering each "mistake" as a lesson that can be used to advance more quickly and consistently in the future.

We can forgive ourselves and move on if we remember that we did the best we could given the resources and information available at the time.

Acknowledge the mistake

Recognize what you learned from the mistake aloud if you make a mistake and find it difficult to let it go, advises Jordan Pickell, MCP, RCC.

You might be able to relieve some of your burdens when you give voice to the ideas in your head and the feelings in your heart. You also ingrain in your memory the lessons you took away from your deeds and their results.

Say Sorry

Sometimes all it takes to make things right when you can't forgive yourself for something you did to someone else is a sincere apology. Naturally, it's best to apologize in person for the best results. If it's not possible to do that, think about adding some humor to your apology. One spouse owed her an apology, so she sent him a copy of the game "Sorry!" along with a note asking if they could play. Her husband gave a copy of the vintage Brenda Lee single "I'm Sorry" in response, not to be outdone. Simple and sweet.

Clearly state your goals

You must decide the best course of action if your error caused someone else harm. Do you wish to apologize to this person in conversation? Is it crucial to make amends and find common ground with them?

Making amends may be something you should think about if you're unsure what to do. This goes beyond expressing regret to someone you've harmed. Instead, work to correct the error you've made. According to one study, making amends first makes it easier to forgive ourselves for wronging someone else.

Be kind and compassionate

It's time to practice self-kindness and compassion if you find yourself criticizing yourself after a bad experience. Being gentle and compassionate with yourself is the only way to start down the path of forgiveness.

This requires time, persistence, and a constant reminder to yourself that you are deserving of mercy.

Look for expert assistance

An expert may be able to help you if you're having trouble forgiving yourself. McBain advises speaking with a counselor who can teach you how to break these negative life patterns and discover better ways to deal with failure.

Lastly,

Know that there’s always a road for self-improvement waiting for you. You can always start a new page and move on. It’s just you need to put in a little effort. Always remember that there’s help available. Seek professionals help if it's going out of your reach.