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How to leave a toxic relationship: Recognize the signs and walk away

  • Writer: Saumya Das
    Saumya Das
  • Apr 6, 2023
  • 4 min read

It can be very daunting to even think of leaving a relationship, especially when it has been a long time with the other person. Nobody ever chooses to be in a toxic relationship. Everybody wants to live happily ever after, where their needs and their partner's needs are met in a shared life they create. But sometimes that doesn't happen for whatever reason. Instead, what we had believed to be positive turned out to be harmful. And that can be a lot.


Many factors can result in toxic partnerships. Even though the term "toxic" is vague, it often denotes a relationship that is unhealthy in some way. People may fail to recognize whether a relationship is toxic. While they could experience negative consequences like stress or lowered self-esteem, they might also place blame, internalize what's happening, or make fruitless attempts to repair the situation.




According to Dr. Kelly Campbell, an associate professor of psychology and human development at California State University, San Bernardino, "A toxic relationship is one that negatively influences a person's health and well-being." "These connections are especially important to our well-being because we devote so much of our time and energy to a love partner. We often do well when they are doing well. Yet when things aren't going well, our happiness and health are probably going to suffer."


From the outside, toxic relationships may be simple to identify. Yet from the inside, things get more difficult because toxicity is frequently concealed by moments of passion. If that's the situation and you believe you're in a toxic relationship, we understand how difficult it is. Nonetheless, it could be time to make some beneficial changes.


Signs of a toxic relationship


You feel like you're walking on eggshells

The person you are with is erratic and might become upset at any time. To avoid rocking the boat, you continually watch what you say, how you say it, and when you say it.


You are spending a lot of time, energy, and money with little to show for it

"Good partnerships shouldn't be one-sided. "While there are occasions when people bear the burden for a while, such as when a partner is ill, this should not be forever."


There are communication issues

There is a poor communication style. Perhaps instead of speaking effectively with each other, one of you—or both of you—starts acting passive-aggressively.




There is some form of abuse

You become aware of warning signs of emotional abuse. Sometimes your partner makes an effort to undermine your confidence by calling you names or making fun of you. Maybe they mislead you, making you doubt your reality. Do you feel like your self-confidence has waned? Does the person treat you poorly, even subtly, or belittle you? Do you feel as though you need to tread carefully around them? These can be indicators of verbal or emotional abuse, which can hurt your mental health.


There’s jealousy and possessiveness, to a harmful extent

There are jealousy, possessiveness, or controlling behavior patterns in the relationship. It's possible that your partner minimizes your capacity for free will or makes multiple attempts to exert control over you. They could feel resentment when they spend time with the people they love and become envious of other people in their life. They might attempt to impose restrictions on what you can do or who you can see, or they might use coercion to get you to do or refrain from doing anything.


You are not independent

A relationship can become probably toxic if your partner continually asks where you are, messages or calls you when you're separated, looks through your phone or computer, controls and limits your funds, or exhibits other obsessive and controlling tendencies.


Since the start of the relationship, your sense of value has drastically decreased

It's advised that you look into how much your partner may have contributed to the result. "Do they make fun of you, judge you, treat you badly, or ignore you?"



What to do if this is what you’re experiencing


Discuss your concerns with your partner

"Go to counseling with them if they're willing to see a therapist.

Nonetheless, you can consider ending the relationship if you think that you're not getting the required support and notice that the same patterns are occurring.


Inform trustworthy family members and friends, including your intention to depart.

Others in your social network may be able to help by offering a place to stay if you need one when the relationship ends. They "can at least provide social and emotional assistance."


Improve your sense of self

Exercise and spending time with loved ones are just a couple of the activities she suggests. Your self-esteem will increase thanks to these activities.


Spend the time you require healing

Spend time with those who love you and encourage you rather than those who seek to bring you down. Spend time with animals since they are an excellent example of unconditional love and might help you feel less lonely. Also, they can help you get outside and socialize with others.


Choose any hobbies you used to like or have always wanted to try

In addition to increasing self-esteem, she adds that hobbies might be an excellent place to meet potential companions in the future.


Break off contact with the toxic individual

The healing process might be prolonged by frequent talks. It's not always possible to completely limit conversation, especially when kids are involved. Keep communication simple and direct in certain situations; only talk about what is necessary. A friendship might be feasible after some time has passed, provided that both parties recover and alter their behavior. So don't make an effort to become friends with the individual immediately away, and avoid engaging in any flirtation or sexual activities with them.

Lastly,


It’s difficult to get out of a toxic relationship but you are not alone. You can be surrounded by your family and friends if only you initiate. If you feel like it’s hard for you, you can always seek help from a professional. Therapy can help, immensely.


 
 
 

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© 2022 by BetterLYF Wellness Pvt. Ltd

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